


I'll love the world like I should

by Darkfairyforever22



Series: The Voice AU [3]
Category: The Voice (US) RPF
Genre: Adam misses singing, Blake is a good husband, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 10:24:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5371847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkfairyforever22/pseuds/Darkfairyforever22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blake convinces Adam to record a song.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll love the world like I should

**Author's Note:**

> The song is by James young

I’ll love the world like I should

*Adam’s POV*

 

                The candle was burning down to nothing as I waited for Blake to come to bed. We had been married for three years now, we had two beautiful children, a wonderful home, and tons of family support. So, why in the hell did I feel so empty? I had been feeling this way ever since I had given birth to our now one-year-old son, Jax. It just felt like something was missing out of my life.

 

“Hey, what are you still doing up?” Blake’s voice broke through my thoughts as he stepped into our room.

 

“I feel crappy.” I leaned my head back against the headboard looking eyes with Blake.

 

Blake sat down on the bed before turning his gaze on me. “Do you feel sick? Or is it a headache? I know getting back on your meds was hard.”

 

I shook my head and rested it on my knees, which I had drawn up to my chest. “I miss having my own hobbies. I feel like all I do is raise the kids which don’t get me wrong I LOVE them but, it’s just something is missing.”

 

Blake reached over my body and opened my nightstand drawer. He pulled out my old leather notebook and laid it between us. The journal held my most personal song lyrics I had ever written. I looked down to my feet tears pooling in my eyes. My band had failed for many reasons and my voice was the main reason.

 

“You should get back out there. Singing is your passion, I want you to sing on my new album with me. Pick whatever song you want and we will record it your way.” Blake laid his head down and grinned at me when I locked eyes with him.

 

I let out a laugh shaking my head. “No, thanks I don’t need to bring your album sales down.”

 

Blake rolled his eyes at me. “You won’t be doing that. Please just come to the studio with me one day and record one song.”

 

“You won’t leave me alone until I do it will you?” I raised an eyebrow at Blake.

 

“You know I will keep bugging you until you do it.”

 

“Fine, one song and I reserve the right to hate it.” I stripped down to my boxers and settled under the comforter.

 

“Deal.” Blake blew out the candle and joined me under the covers. “So, what song are you going to do?”

 

I shrugged in the dark room before cuddling up to Blake. “Honestly I have no idea which song. I have so many of them it would super hard to pick one.”

 

“Well, how about you let me read some of them and I can help you pick?”

 

“No, a lot of that stuff is personal. I just don’t want you to read it and think that I’m some crazy person.” I defended my quick firm no. A lot of my song writing I had done right after I had Charlie, and that was a dark time in my life.

 

“Alright, I won’t read any of them. Your mom has told me a lot of your writing is personal. I shouldn’t have asked to read any of it. I’m sorry.” Blake kissed my head before turning and settling down to sleep.

 

I waited for Blake to start his heavy dead to the world snoring before I slipped out of bed grabbing my song notebook and going into the living room. I sat down in my favorite glider, clicking the light on I opened the book. I skipped the first few songs I had written when I was in love with Charlie’s birth dad. I knew I should get rid of them but, for some reason I felt like keeping them for Charlie.

 

I settled on one of my more emotional songs. I grabbed Blake’s guitar and started strumming what I had pictured in my head while writing it. I softly started to sing the words I had written down.

 

“Daddy?” Charlie’s little voice made me stop and turn to look at her. I forced a small smile trying to blink away the tears that threatened to fall.

 

“Charlie, what are you doing out bed? It is way past your bed time.”

 

Charlie skipped over to me her hair flying behind her. She sat on the foot stool that went with the gilder. “Was that you singing Daddy? Papa doesn’t sound like that.”

 

“Yeah Princess that was me singing. Did I sound bad?” I knew Charlie would give me an honest answer that was one thing I had come to love and hate with my six-year-old.

 

Charlie shook her head in earnest. “You sounded sad. I’ve never heard you sing before. Do you like it?”

 

“I love singing, it is something I wanted to do as a job just like Papa.”

 

Charlie wiggled herself in my lap right behind the guitar. “Why didn’t you?”

 

“It’s not that easy kiddo. If it was trust me I never would have stopped singing.”

 

“Sing for me?” Charlie looked up to me her eyes just like mine shining with hope.

 

“Fine but, after this song you have to go to bed. It is way past your bedtime.” I started to strum the cords again and started singing a little louder this time.

 

Charlie listened to carefully her face showing no emotion as she listened. When I was done with the song Charlie hugged me tightly around the neck.

 

“I love you Daddy. You should sing more often.” Charlie kissed my cheek before running off to her bed. I watched my daughter run up the stairs, wiping tears out of my eyes. I promised myself I would record this song even if only Charlie could have a copy of it. It was a song for her after all.

 

I made my way to bed and shook Blake awake.

 

“What’s the matter?” Blake mumbled waking up.

 

“I have to have Jesse and Matt to record the song I want.” I was firm in my statement.

 

Blake blinked at me a few times before nodding. “Sure, whatever you want just let’s go to sleep please?”

 

I kissed Blake and settled down for bed.

 

A few days later I waited by the front door for Blake to come home from picking Jesse and Matt up. The moment the car pulled up I was running out the door, Jax on my hip, and Charlie flying behind me screaming with excitement.

 

“Hey munchkin!” Jesse scooped Charlie into a hug as he stepped out of the car. Matt grinned at me and reached for Jax. Blake watched all of us amused.

 

“So, want to explain to us what we are doing in the middle of nowhere?” Matt joked as he hugged me.

 

“We are going to record a song. I want Charlie to have it when she gets older.” I explained before going to hug Jesse.

 

“Oh sure you do. So, who talked you into it?” Jesse glanced at Blake a grin playing at his lips.

 

“Blake wanted me to do it originally but, Charlie made me become serious about it.” I helped Blake with the bags and showed the guys where they would be sleeping.

 

“Well do you even have a drum set?” Matt questioned as he looked around the house.

 

“In the studio, come on let me show you my favorite room of the house.” Blake lead Matt and Jesse down to the studio. I followed feeling determination seize my body. There was no way I could back out of this. I had to record these songs no matter what.

 

“Nice set up, when do you want to start?” Jesse looked at me.

 

“Right now.” I knew I had to get started right away or I would chicken out and I really didn’t want to chicken out.

 

Blake gathered Charlie and Jax before kissing me lightly. “I’ll be back to check on you guys in an hour.”

 

Once Blake closed the door I laid the notebook with the lyrics down in front of Jesse and Matt. I explained how I heard the sounds and we messed around with sounds until we found one we liked.

 

“Ready to put lyrics to this puppy?” Jesse questioned positioning the guitar strap around his neck.

 

“I wrote this song after Ryan took off.” I whispered sitting on the stool tears running down my face.

 

“Hey, if you don’t want this song we can do another one.” Matt suggested.

 

I shook my head. “No, I have to do it. Charlie has to know what I felt. This is more for her then anything.”

 

“Wait I’ll be right back.” Jesse ran out of the room and came back a few minutes later holding pillows and a blanket. “Here lay down and record it.”

 

I settled the pillows on the floor and made sure the laptop was ready to pick up the mics sounds. Jesse counted us off and started the guitar. I closed my eyes letting the words flow out along with the tears.

 

 

_I thought I saw the devil, this morning_

_Looking in the mirror, drop of rum on my tongue_

_With the warning to help me see myself clearer_

_I never meant to start a fire,_

_I never meant to make you bleed,_

_I'll be a better man today_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_And I'll love the world, like I should_

_Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good_

_For all of the times that I never could._

_My past has tasted bitter for years now,_

_So I wield an iron fist_

_Grace is just weakness_

_Or so I've been told._

_I've been cold, I've been merciless_

_But the blood on my hands scares me to death_

_Maybe I'm waking up today_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_And I'll love the world, like I should_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_For all of the light that I shut out_

_For all of the innocent things that I've doubt_

_For all of the bruises that I've caused and the tears_

_For all of the things that I've done all these years_

_Yeah, for all of the sparks that I've stomped out_

_For all of the perfect things that I doubt_

_I'll be good, I'll be good_

_And I'll love the world, like I should_

_Yeah, I'll be good, I'll be good_

_For all of the times I never could._

_Ooh oh oh_

_Ooh oh oh_

_For all of the times I never could._

 

 

When the song ended I hit the button to stop the recording. Jesse turned and waved Matt out of the room as I laid back down and started bawling my eyes out. Blake appeared a few minutes later and laid down next to me.

 

“Want to talk about it darlin’?” Blake was laying on his side running his hand up and down my back.

 

“I wrote that song for Charlie after Ryan left. I never told you how bad I was, I was a terrible father to her Blake. She doesn’t remember it but, I do. God, I really fucked up.” My tears were flowing harder out of my eyes stinging my nose as they rolled off the tip.

 

“Adam Noah Shelton, don’t you dare say you are a bad father. You aren’t the one who left her, you stayed and raised her to be a wonderful young lady. She is such a good kid. Charlie has a heart of gold, please tell me where you messed up.” Blake pulled me into sitting position and stared at me.

 

“I wasn’t there when she was a baby. I’m there for Jax and I can’t help but, feel guilty every day.” I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head on my knees.

 

“You are here for her today and every day. You never miss anything she wants or needs you to be at. You had Charlie when you were eighteen. What eighteen-year-old do you know that knows how to raise a baby? Shit, I still don’t know what I’m doing with Jax most days and I’m in my forties.” Blake cracked a grin at me.

 

I huffed a laugh looking up at Blake. “I needed to hear that.”

 

“I knew you did. So, may I listen to the song?”

 

I nodded and stood up offering my hand to Blake.

 

“No way, my fat ass would pull you down again.” Blake stood up and walked over to the computer. He pressed play and listened a focused look on his face. “What are you going to call it?” Blake questioned the moment it was over.

 

“I’ll be good.”

 

Blake scribbled that down on a note pad and turned to me. “May I put it on my album as a bonus track? People need to hear this, other than Charlie.”

 

I nodded softly. “If you really think it’s that good go for it.”

 

“It’s brilliant Adam.” Blake softly kissed me before emailing the track to his team.


End file.
